Tax Season

I started writing this post about 2 hours ago but found myself doing very articulate whining for 500 odd words and decided to delete the whole thing and try and a different tactic.

I started this morning feeling pretty low and lonely and missing the normal pace and routine of my marriage. For those of you not aware, Josh works a lot of long hours between January and mid-April. I joke that I kiss him on New Year’s because I won’t see him again for 4 months. Of course, this isn’t literally true but he does tend to emerge on April 15 looking a little like what I imagine those Confederate soldiers who walked home after the Civil War did… all that to say that I tried Googling some suppport blogs for wives of accountants during tax season. I only found one, which I thought was surprising. So in my attempts to not whine, I’d like to write down some tips and tricks I’ve found that help and maybe I’ll preach to myself in the meantime 🙂

1) Plan for it

This seems obvious, but don’t plan any major life events for tax season. New car, new house, spouse changing jobs, etc. All of those things that normally produce a high level of stress will only be made worse by tax season. Also, planning for it means – as a wife – adjusting expectations. I’ve gotten into the habit of not expecting Josh to be home before 8pm and so when he gets home at 7:45 it’s a real treat, not a disappointment.

2) When those life events happen anyway…

In the course of 4 tax seasons, we have bought 2 cars (one per season) Josh has bought a house, and we’ve planned a wedding. The thing to remember is to be flexible, and as a wife, be willing to make more decisions that you’re used to. For instance, when it came to car shopping last year, I had to be willing to do more research and errand running (for titles, tags, etc.) on my own when normally, Josh would’ve handled that. Not to say you go autonomous but there’s a balance that may need to shift.

3) Make time

Last year, Josh and I didn’t go to set up at church during tax season so we could get coffee and breakfast together each Sunday morning. This was HUGE because it was the only time when I wasn’t getting him at the end of a long, draining day. It helped us go beyond the “shop talk” conversations of “this is what’s going on, what we have coming up, what day do you want to go visit your parents” etc.

4) Treasure the little things

It sounds trite, but it’s true. Like, when I went up to visit my sister in MA for a few days, Josh tried to make sure every room in the house was a little bit cleaner than when I left. This means so much more during tax season (and it means a lot anyway) because it meant he used time and energy to do something I would appreciate instead of vegging out on the couch (which I know he would prefer).

5) Keep the first things, the first things

I admit, I struggle more with this one. Sometimes the little things get the better of me – like trying to talk about the budget for the month and arguing over who spent what last month (sorry about that dear). The most important things are that we love God and love each other. And for me, I need to remember that sometimes I need to let things go. Sometimes Josh isn’t going to be as kind with his words as he usually is and that’s ok – I know that he loves and treasures me and one or two harsh words at the end of a long day doesn’t erase all that. Or that sometimes I’m not going to get things done around the house because he managed to get home early and so we need to share that time together.

I know that as soon as I feel comfortable in a rhythm for tax season, we’ll end up with kids and that’ll be a whole ‘nutha struggle but, in the meantime, we greatly appreciate all your prayers! Only 71 more days… 🙂