Sometimes I think I know I walk out of a mall buying nothing more than a pretzel, a candle, and undewear. Trying on clothes can be pretty damn depressing. Unless something has gone seriously awry in my life, those three thingss are pretty fail proof. It would be easy to blame society or the catalog companies (who’s job it is to sell things) or the airbrushed, skinny models (who’s job it is to be human clothes hangers) but I think the real problem is … me.
All through high school I was pretty blessed to be classified as “slender.” Of course I had body issues from time to time (lack of boobs and wide hips for instance) but it was never much on my mind. To be really frank, my body type wasn’t all that different from the models in catalogs. But now that I’m older and not playing sports and hitting the gym all the time…let’s just say I don’t have quite the same shape I once did.
The thing is I am 25 (almost 26) year old woman who is being slammed with body issues for the first time. I’m talking sitting on the bed crying because clothes don’t fit and poor husband trying desperately to reassure me. How did I get here? (I don’t mean the bigger size, I’m very certain my fondness for milkshakes and french fries is the source of that) Why does this bother me so much now? I think it’s because I’ve been taking in satan’s lies all along about what beauty is but only under pressure is it coming out.
As we quickly approach summer – which means shorts, swim suits, and more excuses for milkshakes – I know this an issue I will continue to struggle with. I have to own my part and ask god not only to reassure me of my beauty in his and my husband’s eyes, but also for forgiveness for my pride in my looks. I will appreciate prayers and will be praying for all the other ladies out there who struggle. 🙂
Adventures with the Morgans 